flirting
Suw's friend: “Cute guys are like a link on del.icio.us: you have to find it first and get in there immediately, otherwise you're just going to see '... and 192 others ...'.”
A very geeky way of describing it, but that phenomenon no doubt applies to women as well.
Larry: “links aren't monogamous.”
Dan, on the subject of married people flirting (or flirting with married people): “if flirting is something that only serves to get you into a good relationship, then doing so once you've achieved that would be a waste of effort. Once you find a job you like, you probably don't keep going to job interviews. But finding a mate is only one of the reasons for flirting. ”
My only and therefore favourite story of flirting with a married woman was at my friend's wedding. Actually, I flirted with a married woman, a lesbian, and a girl who was dating someone, that someone attending the wedding. It was either my friend L or M—it could have been either, since all my memories involving them could have happened to either—”who pointed it out to me, but I didn't think of it as flirting: to me it was visiting with friends they didn't know I had met already the year previous. Except for the girl whose boyfriend was there: the story as I still remember it is that we had talked in the line for beer, asking each other how they knew the soon-to-be-married couple, then a couple hours later, she smiled at me, and for once my brain told me to talk to her.
Except possibly for the times I'll go to a store and ask legitimate questions of the sales lady, the real reason going into the store being that said sales lady is attractive, and possibly the conversations with the cute hair stylist that discuss Saturday night activities, I don't really have a concept of what it means to flirt. For me it happens when I'm in a different country, such as, in the above case, the United States.
Richard Soderberg: “Each time you interact with someone you're attracted to, dedicate a few seconds of thought (not too much) to the interaction. Don't worry about extracting useful conclusions from it, just think back to the interaction, compare it to other interactions, and then get on with whatever you're doing. Occasionally you'll know for sure that someone was attracted to you — and as you think back, you might suddenly realize that an interaction you thought was friendly was actually a flirt.”
Tracey Cox: “It's tough to flirt in Toronto because this city is so uptight”. Also: “Men can't interpret well, even though we might be on the floor with most of our clothes off. If a man does walk over to a woman, it's because we've given him the signal, so don't be subtle.”
More goodness from "Modern Flirting: Girls Find Old Ways Did Have Their Charms" Laura Sessions Stepp: “Young women risk more than their self-esteem by charging after a guy -- they also risk losing the possibility of being cherished. Why should a man tell a woman how gorgeous she looks in turquoise if she's already stroking his back? Why should he even ask her out on a date?”
Every couple of days or so, I'm going to bring out a good paragraph, because there are so, so many good paragraphs. Very Crittenden-like.
Good lord, "Modern Flirting: Girls Find Old Ways Did Have Their Charms" by Laura Sessions Stepp [via Accordion Guy] is too good for words. The premise: modern flirting and sexual mores are ruining it for girls in the long run. Yeah, what Crittenden said, except in 5 pages.
In the spirit of gender equality, many a young woman has discarded the slow, subtle arts of flirtation and charm that females have used successfully on males for millennia, and replaced them with quick, direct strikes: punching her number into his cell phone memory, rubbing his shoulders, grinding with him on the dance floor, hooking up in the spare bedroom at a party.
The result has not been an especially happy one, some young women say, for though they may snag the guy in question, it's only until he gets a better offer. As the one being pursued, a woman used to be able to set the course and pace of a relationship. As the pursuer, she relinquishes control, not to mention the fun of being chased.
The article gets even better after that. Highly recommended.